Life has its down periods: your boss is unhappy with you, your business is struggling, you get into a fight with the love of your life, your finances are tight, you aren’t getting good sleep, you get sick or have chronic pain.
Our way of dealing with this is usually to do one or more of the following:
- Get away from the problem — quit your job, break up with your partner, or stop caring. Anything you can do to exit.
- Ignore the problem — just don’t think about it. Pretend nothing’s wrong. Think about anything else.
- Comfort yourself — drink, smoke, food, TV, Internet, porn, social media, games. Anything to take your mind off the difficulties.
- Complain — lash out at someone, rant, moan about it to a friend, feel resentful, tell yourself that the other person is the problem (because they are, right?!).
There’s nothing wrong with any of these things. Don’t feel guilty if you do them. Sometimes, they can be soothing or helpful.
First thing to resolve most of the problems is To stop thinking and starts leaving in the present using the following methods –
1 – Think about worrying differently
What purpose does worry serve? Does it make problems go away? Prevent them from happening? Or make them worse ?
2 – Allow yourself time to worry
Many chronic worriers feel they have no control over it. They tell themselves things such as “just don’t worry” or “don’t think about it”. This thought stopping approach rarely works. The reason — it’s a negative command and people simply don’t process these well. It forces you to think about the very thing you’re trying to avoid.
3 – Control
Ask yourself: do I have control over the issue? So many of the things people worry about they have absolutely no control over yet it dominates their thinking. For example, the weather. We can’t control it but we can certainly prepare for it.
4 – Fact or fiction
On a piece of paper make four columns. On the far left write the worry you’re having. In the next column identify whether it is fact or fiction and if there’s any real evidence to support your belief. Then write an alternative way of thinking and finally, think about whether the original thought was helpful or not.
5 – Be a problem solver
There’s a big difference between worrying and problem solving. The former is about repeating thoughts that are unhelpful and leads to more stress and worry and gets in the way of actually enjoying life and being productive. The latter is focused on getting out of the current way of thinking and making life better. Put on your problem-solver hat and think about solutions. How might you advise a friend who has a similar concern? What steps would you take to ensure a solution? Take action now.
6 – Make friends with uncertainty
Feel okay about not knowing exactly how things will turn out. Accept the unpredictability of life. Can you imagine how dull life would be if we knew everything that would happen? Think of all that is right with life and embrace ambiguity.
So these are some basics steps to resolve most of the issues of life.I hope you will try to implement in your day to day life.